There is an interesting podcast called “Love bombing”that presents several cases of fraud, from online trading to fake counseling classes, all sharing the same mechanism: love bombing.
Ordinary people living delicate moments (griefs, breakups,etc etc) fell into these traps losing self esteem, confidence and, unfortunately, a lot of money.
What I found particularly interesting from these profiles was the extreme need of love they had in common. I remember one of the victims, a feminist working for women's empowerment, not accepting the idea that the man who was cheating on her, did not exist. "I still wanted to feel those butterflies in my stomach" she said "even if rationally I knew he was a swindler".
According to the attachment theory, our need of love comes from the relationship with our caregivers and particularly with our mother: the more we felt loved and cuddled when we were children, the more we will develop self confidence and self love.
Otherwise, the risk to fall into the trap of emotional addiction will increase.
"Il faut s'habiller le coeur" the fox said to the Little Prince.
But can we fill our heart without seeking love from outside?
"There is a treatment for wounded and broken heart, for its pieces and to make it intact again: it is loving kindness" (Chandra Candiani - Questo immenso non sapere).
Have you heard about Metta?
According to the Theravada school of Buddhism, Metta (loving kindness) is the first of the Brahmaviharas (sublime states). It is an attitude to practice every day .
You can practice it informally, by bringing your attention to every act of kindness from you, to you or around you; or formally, during a specific meditation that focuses on your heart and the poeple you decide to send love to: people you love, acquaintances, enemies and the whole universe.
If you will practice Metta regularly, you will feel a change in your heart. You will become more compassionate, towards yourself and the others, calmer and more open to others. It is costless and it only requires a minimum amount of time per day.
Would you like to try Metta meditation? Contact me and we will organise a group of practice. Your life will change forever!